I have had an interesting day, a stressful day but in the end, a day to be thankful for.
I tend to analyse my thoughts a lot . At one point I noticed my thoughts were all sped up and began to not make sense; so I let them go past, just listening to them and after awhile they slowed down all by themselves.
Because of the drug withdrawals, I sometimes think there are two of me; and I talk to another person. These thoughts are sometimes very hurtful, calling me names, using swear words. Sometimes they are loving words . I therefore find it difficult to trust my thoughts. I feel like I have to defend myself. It can be very distressing. and distracting. Today I could consciously change who or what my thoughts represent. When I say you are drugs, my thoughts start talking like they are drugs. I can physically feel a change within my head from one part to another. A few weeks ago the burning intensity was almost overwhelming, today it has been more of a pressure. I feel like the withdrawals are getting less severe.
I received a Priesthood Blessing some time ago in which the Lord councelled me to do research to learn how to improve my health. I have since learned that taking essential amino acids and non-essential amino acids along with 8,000 I.U. Vitamin D improves brain health. I have been taking these for about a month now and the symptoms are lessening. I still have seizure like movements and sensitive hearing, but the seizures are less severe and last shorter. I believe the seizures are from long term use of the psychiatric drugs. I see the doctor on Thursday about the seizures.
By the end of the day I was feeling very overwhelmed from battling with my thoughts and feeling almost despondent. Doral and I were at the show and I wanted badly to enjoy the show without the interferring thoughts. I prayed to my Father in Heaven and it didn’t take long before the thoughts stopped and I was able to concentrate on the show and had an enjoyable time.